Can You Spoil a Baby? (Donât Fall for This Baby Myth!)
Has anyone ever told you, âResponding every time your baby cries will spoil her?â Well, thatâs simply not true!
Studies show that repeatedly ignored cries can undermine an infantâs core confidence. This confidenceâwhat child experts call attachmentâis the glue that holds good families together.
How to bond with your baby from day one:
Think of it this way: when friends ignore your phone calls, you may try againâbut if youâre repeatedly spurned, youâll eventually stop reaching out. Similarly, a baby whose smiles and coos go unreturned will initially try harder to get attentionâbut if he continues to get no reaction, heâll engage less and soon feel rejected and alone.
The same goes for when you meet your babyâs needs when she criesâdozens of times a day. If she thinks, âEvery time I need something, it magically appears! You know, this place is pretty great! I really like these people.â
That would be a good thing, no?
The trust you build with your baby in the early days will become the foundation of her confidence and life-long ability to form deep, loving relations. And those are all very, very, good things!
Like most everything with babies, donât be too hard on yourself if you canât follow this advice 100% of the time. Meaning, if youâre stuck on the phone when your baby launches into a tirade, donât fret. A minute of crying doesnât cause mental trauma.
When should you start worrying about spoiling your baby?
On the other hand, always giving in to your one-year-old every time she whines or cries is usually a recipe for disaster. After 9-12 months, it will become important to start teaching your child the meaning of limits and following the rules. (âEven if you cry for an hour ... Iâm not gonna let you hold the scissors!â) But right now, your baby doesnât need discipline. What he needs is an unshakable faith that heâs precious, protected and respected. This nurturing is as critical to his growing spirit as milk is to his developing body.
Final Thoughts: Can you Spoil a Baby?
When your baby is a newborn or less than a year old, donât worry, too much attention will not spoil her or instill bad habits. On the contrary, use this time to shower your newborn with attention and reassurance.Â
If you are looking for more tips and advice on infant sleep, calming techniques, breastfeeding, and more, check out the The Happiest Baby on the Block book.
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