PARENTS
Is Revenge Bedtime Procrastination Keeping You up at Night?
Learn why so many parents are putting off ZZZs—and how to reprioritize rest!
Written by
Happiest Baby Staff
SHARE THIS ARTICLE
PARENT PICKS
Bestsellers
PARENTS
Written by
Happiest Baby Staff
SHARE THIS ARTICLE
Bestsellers
Your workday is done, dinner has been eaten, the dishes have been washed, the dog has been walked, your baby is soundly sleeping in SNOO, and you let out your first yawn of the evening. It is 10pm. What do you do? If you are like many, there is a good bet you did not answer “Go to bed.” Instead, you may be engaging in what has been called “revenge bedtime procrastination,” a phenomenon that, according to reports, is super common amongst parents. But what exactly is revenge bedtime procrastination—and why are so many parents putting off bedtime? To find out, here is everything you need to know about why you procrastinate at bedtime and how to stop.
Bedtime procrastination is when you put off sleep to do something non-essential, like binge watching a show, all while knowing doing so goes against your best interest. The “revenge” part of “revenge bedtime procrastination” stems from the idea that staying up too late is the only way you can take some control of your time. Revenge bedtime procrastination covers both delaying getting into bed and putting off trying to fall asleep once you are under the covers. Research shows that this habit is not connected to not wanting to sleep, but rather to not wanting to quit other activities. The three defining factors of revenge bedtime procrastination include:
For parents, the fleeting hours between your child’s bedtime and your own bedtime is often the only break you get from caregiving…and that time is precious! You finally have a moment for yourself to unwind and reconnect to you! While tired parents may intellectually understand that they should be getting the sleep they need after Baby is tucked in, they also understand that after-hours “me time” is super important to their mental health.
Are all past-bedtime activities revenge bedtime procrastination? Not exactly. If you put off lights-out to attend a special event, a stuffy nose is keeping you awake, or you lost track of time while working, you are not procrastinating. Revenge bedtime procrastination is needlessly and voluntarily staying up past your bedtime to engage in a leisure activity that serves no purpose but to entertain or distract.
Revenge bedtime procrastination examples include:
You would be hard-pressed to find someone who does not engage in revenge bedtime procrastination from time to time. While there are not a ton of studies on the matter, one a survey out of the Netherlands found that 74% of adults turn in for the night later than they planned at least once a week, with no real reason for doing so.
Some experts speculate that we engage in revenge bedtime procrastination because we simply lack self-control. After all, research has shown that our capacity for self-control is at its lowest at the end of the day. Still others contend that revenge sleep procrastination is actually a natural result of being a night owl, or more technically, having an evening chronotype, according to a study in Frontiers in Psychology. Either way, revenge sleep procrastination does appear to be tied to significant daytime stress and desperately wanting “me time.”
If you are wondering What is revenge bedtime procrastination a symptom of?, consider one (or more) of these common reasons:
It can be. Because difficulty with self-regulation is a central aspect of ADHD, many adults with ADHD drift into patterns of sleep procrastination, according to Psychology Today. Self-regulation struggles, of course, can snowball into other challenges, like impulsivity and hyperfocus, that can further spur revenge bedtime procrastination. Plus, the ADHD brain craves stimulation and distractions from an overactive mind. Think of revenge sleep procrastination and ADHD like this: When you delay bedtime, you also delay lying in bed trying to shut off your buzzing mind.
It is no surprise that staying up too late, coupled with early mornings, can very easily lead to sleep deprivation. Without proper sleep, the brain loses plasticity, negatively impacting thinking and mood. More specifically, chronic sleep deprivation due to revenge bedtime procrastination may…
A 2022 survey found that 44% of folks did not think they could dramatically adjust their sleep routine even if they truly wanted to. But changing your sleep habits is not as hard as you may think. First off, to successfully adopt a new sleep schedule, you must do it gradually. For example, the Sleep Foundation suggests making 15- or 30-minute adjustments to your go-to-sleep time over a series of several days. Here are some point-by-point goals to help you stop revenge bedtime procrastination.
As a parent, you know that a calming bedtime routine is instrumental to helping babies and children fall asleep with ease—and getting the rest they need. Isn’t it time you granted yourself the same care? To help, write down what your ideal winddown routine would look like, making sure it is realistic, then gradually implement it.
***
REFERENCES
Disclaimer: The information on our site is NOT medical advice for any specific person or condition. It is only meant as general information. If you have any medical questions and concerns about your child or yourself, please contact your health provider. Breastmilk is the best source of nutrition for babies. It is important that, in preparation for and during breastfeeding, mothers eat a healthy, balanced diet. Combined breast- and bottle-feeding in the first weeks of life may reduce the supply of a mother's breastmilk and reversing the decision not to breastfeed is difficult. If you do decide to use infant formula, you should follow instructions carefully.
