The best medicine for a grumpy tyke? A really great joke! Toddler jokes are a fun way to bond with kids and to lighten a gloomy mood. Having a few tot-friendly zingers up your sleeve can help you keep those grins wide…even in tense times.

We collected 50 kid-appropriate jokes for toddlers and preschoolers that may just make Mum or Dad crack a smile, too. So, the next time your kiddo is cranky, try one of these toddler jokes to turn that frown upside-down. And before you know it, your kids will be hamming it up with their own punchlines (living room open-mic night, here you come!).  

Toddler Jokes About Food

What fruit do twins love?
Pears!

What kind of keys are sweet?
Cookies!

What do you call two bananas?
Slippers.

Why won't peanut butter tell you a secret?
He's afraid you'll spread it. 

What do you do if you get peanut butter on your doorknob?
Use a door jam.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn't peeling well.

What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
Where is pop corn?

What did the banana say to the dog?
Bananas can't talk.

Toddler Jokes About Animals

Where do elephants pack their clothes?
In their trunks! 

What do you call a fish without an eye? 
A fsh

Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.

What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
That hit the spot!

What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon.

What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
A firequacker!

What bird is always out of breath?
A puffin! 

Which dinosaur had to wear glasses?
Tyrannosaurus specs

How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.

What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie talkie. 

What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
"Me-ow."

Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!

What do you do when a dinosaur sneezes?
Get out of the way!

Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because they have smelly feet.

Where would you find an elephant?
The same place you lost her.

Toddler Jokes About Planes, Trains, & Other Things That Go 

What do you call a train that sneezes?
Achoo-choo train.

How does a barber drive to work?
He takes shortcuts!

How did the pirate get his flag so cheaply?
He bought it on sail.

How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?
You rocket!

Toddler Jokes About People

What kind of shoes do robbers wear?
Sneakers.

Why can't Elsa have a balloon?
Because she will let it go.

Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly.

Why was the snow yellow?
Because Elsa let it go!  

What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells.

Toddler Jokes About Nature

How do we know that the ocean is friendly?
It waves.

What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!

What do you call an old snowman?
Water. 

What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg. 

What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!

How do you throw a party in space?
You planet.  

Toddler Jokes About School 

Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9 

What did zero say to eight? 
Nice belt! 

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
Because her students were so bright. 

What did one math book say to the other?
Boy, do I have problems! 

“Spooky” Toddler Jokes 

What instrument does a skeleton play?
The trom-bone.

What kinds of pants do ghosts wear?
Boo-jeans. 

What is a zombie's favourite thing to eat?
Brain food. 

Where do vampires keep their money?
A blood bank.

What is a scarecrow's favourite fruit?
A strawberry. 

Knock Knock Jokes for Toddlers 

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Beets!
Beets who?
Beets me!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
A titch!
A titch who?
Bless you!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Europe!
Europe who?
No, you're a poo!

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub, I’m dwowning!

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