âPlay the Boobâ to Build Your Childâs Confidence
We all pretend to be klutzes sometimes when we are playing with our kids. It makes them laugh, feel clever and strong (by comparison to their inept parent) and makes them want to be more cooperative. Sound odd? Embarrassing? Unnatural? Well, actually itâs a silly idea thatâs super smart and I bet youâre doing it already! Do you ever:Â
- Pretend youâre startled when your child roars like a tiger?
- Have a little race and intentionally lose?
- Have a pillow fight and let your tot topple you with each swipe?
If you answered yes to any of those, then youâre already playing the boob (and, you know how much your child loves it)! Playing the boob makes kids feel like winnersâand that helps them give in faster on issues that we care about!
Twenty-two-month-old Alice loves to âblow her dad overâ: She puffs really hard on his chestâŚand he teetersâŚthen falls onto the couch while she howls with laughter.
I play the boob again and again when I do a toddler checkup. It usually wins a childâs cooperation in minutes, or less.
I beg you to spend time learning this one. This goofy-sounding idea is one of the most effective tools I know for increasing toddler cooperation and diminishing tantrums.
The basic idea is to make your child feel smart/strong/fast/etc. by making yourself seem, well, like a bit of a âboob.â
Itâs best used for all toddlers, dozens of times a day. Once you get the knack, playing the boob will become your toddlerâs all-time favorite game. (Yours, too!)
How to âPlay the Boobâ
Here are just a few of the wacky ways to play the boob:
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Be a baby. Pretend you want something your toddler has. Reach out and whine like a baby saying, âMine, mineâŚpleeease!â Let her easily defy your pitiful request. One of my favorites is to say, âGimme five,â but then pretend to be afraid. Then I let the child give me five. If she does it gently, I thank her for being so nice. But if she whacks me hard, I hop around yelping in mock pain, âOw! Ow! Ow! You tricked me! You tricked me! Youâre not fair.â Then I blow hard on my hand to take away the sting. Kids howl with delight and want to do it over and over.
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Be blind. Pretend to search for something thatâs right next you. Say, âBook! Where is my book?â When your child giggles and points to it, ham it up and exclaim, âWhere? Where? I donât see it.â Then finally look where sheâs pointing and say, âYEA! You found it! Youâre a goof finder! Thank you.âÂ
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Be a klutz. Ask your child to hand you something but âaccidentallyâ drop it (over and over again), saying âUh-oh! Uh-oh!â
Before I examine a worried 2-year-old, I always place a toy right on the edge of the exam table so that it falls as soon as I let go. As it drops I exclaim, âNoooo! Doooonât fall!â I do this over and over, each time pretending to be ever more careful in putting it down. I âcommandâ the toy (or plead with it), âPleeease donât fall!â Of course, when I let go it always falls again.
Pretty soon, the child relaxes and looks quizzically at his mom, wondering Is this the guy you meant to take me to, Mom? Because I can do the thing heâs bumbling with. Usually the child laughs and wants to play with me because he sees Iâm such a boob he doesnât need to be afraid.
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Be confused. Put your shoe on your hand or wear your hat upside down. Announce that you need to see if your childâs hands are cleanâŚbut inspect her foot Then protest, âHey! Youâre tricking me! Thatâs not your hand!â Now demand, âGive me your hand!â But look in her pocket.
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Be forgetful. Ask your child: âDo you want your green pants or the blue ones?â After he says âgreen,â immediately act like you forgot, âHuh? What? Did you say the blue ones?â Point at your childâs foot and fumble for the word. Say, âGive me yourâŚummmâŚyourâŚuh.â Frown as if you just canât remember the word âfoot.â Keep fumbling and pointing. In seconds, your toddler will lift up his foot and gleefully finish your sentence, âFoot, FOOT!â
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Be pompously incorrect. Loudly sing the wrong lyrics to a song, âHappy elephant to you!â âHappy elephant to you!â Your child will love to correct youâŚbut act like youâre sure youâre right. (âNo, those are the right words!â) Or like she didnât hear you correctly, âNo way! I didnât say elephant⌠I saidâ Then sing the song with the wrong word again and if she corrects you again, pompously proclaim, âNo way! Iâm the best singerâŚIN THE WORLD!!!âÂ
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Be a pushover. Ask your child to do something you know he wonât want to doâŚand let him win. Point to the shoes on his feet and say, âGive me your shoes, pleeease! I want shoes!â When he refuses, âbegâ him, âPlease! Pleeease!â Then, when he refuses again (with a mile-wide grin) throw down your hands and whine, âOkay, okayâŚyou win! You always win! You win me ďťż100 times!! You never do what I want!âÂ
I once made a house call to see a baby. There, I met her big sister, 2-year-old Noa. Noa was drinking juice and I playfully put out my hand and asked, âMay I have your sippy cup? Pleeease?â She scowled and said, âNo!â Then she turned away from me and wedged herself between her dadâs legs for protection. I begged like a baby, âPlease? Pleeeeeeease? Pretty please with sugar on top?â She protested, âNo! My cup!â I saw she was looking worried, so I backed away, smiled and chirped, âYou say, âNo! Go away, Man.â Okay, NoaâŚyou win, you win! Thatâs your sippy cup! You keep it! You keep it!â Noa beamed and puffed out her chest. She felt like a winner! And she felt that I had treated her with fairness and respect. I know that because a minute later she took my hand and introduced me to all her dollies!
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Be ridiculous. Say something absurd in a sincere voice, âWant some deliciousâŚmud?â or âOkay, itâs dinner timeâŚYou have to eat your shoe!â This will make your toddler grin and feel smart because even he knows people donât eat mud.
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Be weak. Pretend a little toy is too heavy to lift. Struggle at it, then ask for help. Or wrestle, but let your child keep wriggling out of your grasp even as you boast, âIâve got you now! Youâll never get away!â
Is It a Bad Idea to Let Your Toddler Think Youâre a âBoobâ?
Not at all. Your child knows youâre not really weak or a baby. Youâre his ultimate hero. Youâll never lose his respect just because you goof with him a little bit. In fact, heâll love you even more for it.
Think of playing the boob as an ancient form of flattery (a fundamental tool of diplomacy). Itâs like buttering up the king: âOh, Your Lordship, you are soooooo strong!â
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